


Not Quite the Same

by bekkis



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-02
Updated: 2010-05-02
Packaged: 2017-10-09 06:36:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bekkis/pseuds/bekkis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>This isn't her Doctor.</i> Post Series 4 fic, and neither the Doctor nor Rose really know if they can do this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Quite the Same

He holds her hand the whole way back to the house.

Rose keeps sneaking looks over at him, taking in his face. She glances down at their fingers and it feels exactly the same as she remembers, from every time he grabbed her hand and said, "Run."

But it's not the same. It's not her Doctor, not the same Doctor that blew up her job, took her amazing places, changed her life. No, this, this is not her Doctor, not this human with a bit of Donna Noble inside of him.

She's not sure what he is.

***

When they get to the house, she pulls her hand from his and stalks up the front door. After she unlocks it, Rose stops in the kitchen for a drink of water before pounding up the stairs to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

The sound of the door slamming echoes through the house. She can hear murmurs downstairs, but she doesn't care. She can't…she can't pretend that this is what she wants, because it's not.

On her better days, Rose Tyler would admit that her new life is almost as wonderful as the one she had with the Doctor. Everything he taught her, everything he showed her, got her ready for this. She got in good with Torchwood, and she knows how to shape it, change things to run better. She's good at her job, and it's a better life than one she would have had without the Doctor, working in another shop day after day. Here, she has a chance to help people, and even though she misses her life with the Doctor every day, she knows she has it good.

But now, with this…this man in her house, downstairs talking to her mum like they didn't just save the world, like he's not some cheap version of the man she loves, and Rose can't take it.

This isn't what she wants.

There's no knock on her door that night. Mum must have set him up in a guest room, let her have a night to herself. Rose spends the night pacing her room, repeating the days events over and over in her head.

By the next morning, Rose doesn't know what to do with herself. It's not the same, it's not her Doctor, and she can't pretend he is. She knows what she has to say, so Rose showers and pads downstairs.

Mum's already up, brewing a fresh cup of tea, and Rose sits down at the table.

"Well you had a bit of a hissy last night…" Her mum gives her a look and sets down a cup of tea in front of her.

"Sorry I just…it got too much." Rose blows across the top of the tea before taking a sip.

"So. Is he staying here, or not?" She leans against the counter, sipping from her own tea, and Rose just shrugs.

"I'm not sure yet. What's gonna happen." Rose sets down her cup, and stills when she hears feet on the stairs before the kitchen door opens.

There he was, dressed in one of her father's old shirts and a pair of jeans, his hair sticking up in every direction. He looks ridiculous, and so completely unlike her Doctor, that Rose feels a pain in the pit of her stomach. He gives her an easy smile and sits down across from her. Mum hands him his own cup of tea, before leaving the kitchen with her breakfast, giving Rose a pointed look before she leaves.

There's a few minutes of complete silence, just the sound of the television in the other room and Rose shifts uncomfortably in her chair, not looking at him. It's too weird, having him sitting in this kitchen, accepting a cup of tea from her mum like it's normal for him.

"Rose?" She turns to look at him. "I know this is a bit. Weird. For you." He ran a hand through his hair.

"That's an understatement." Rose bit her lip, and stared down at her tea."I'm not sure I can do this." She risks looking up at him.

He lets out a short laugh "I'm not sure if I can do this either. I know I can't live with your mum for too much longer. Did you know what she tried to do to me last night?" He looks wide eyed and has the same look he always had when he talked about her mother. She giggles.

"I have some idea, yea." She grins. "Maybe. I'm sure Mickey wouldn't mind…" And he made another pained face. "No, really, Mickey's different now." He was still a bit ridiculous, but maybe, if she had met him here, like this, they would have had something. As it is, Mickey's the only person who understands her now.

"I'll figure it out." He waves his hand out in front of him, hitting the cup of tea in front of him. "Oh no." Rose jumps up from the table and grabs a towel, patting down the mess. She freezes when his hand comes down on top of hers. She stares up into his eyes, heart beating fast.

"Doctor…" It just pops out of her mouth, and he pulls back looking shocked. "I mean. Bugger." She looks away from him, sitting back down at her seat with the towel still her in hand.

"Rose, we don't have to…" She doesn't look up at him, just throws the towel on the table. He suddenly starts laughing. "I mean, Rose, we have all the time in the world. Which is completely ironic, considering I'm human and literally don't have all the time in the world anymore." He shakes his head. "Rose, we don't have to do this. I just. I don't even know if I can do this, live like a human, same thing day in and day out. But. I want to try." She looks up at him, the tone in his voice.

"I don't know if I can do it either." She swallows and looks down at her lap. "I can. There's Torchwood, if you like, I can pull a few strings." She grinned up at him. "I have a bit of pull there, you know? All that stuff you taught me. That he taught me, I mean." He nods, and she mentally curses herself for slipping like that again. It's not the Doctor sitting here in front of her.

"I'm not sure…"

"It's different, I swear." She interrupts. "It's not like the old Torchwood. Or Captain Jack's Torchwood either, from what he told me. It's…good. We help people." She bit her bottom lip.

"Maybe. I can…try." He runs a hand through his hair again.

"And. I can't…it's a bit weird, you know?" She reached across the table. "Just give me some time, alright?" He gives her one of his brilliant smiles and nods, resting his hand on top of hers.

"Let me show you something." He stands up from the table and pulls something out of his jeans pocket. He places it on the table and Rose can't help herself. She reaches over and rests her hand on top of it, a feeling of peace and home rushing over her. She looks up at him.

"What is it?"

"It's a piece of the TARDIS. He…the Proper Doctor, I guess, he gave it to me, right before he left." He grins at her, but he still looks a little nervous. "I'm not sure, how long it takes. For it to grow properly. But."

She reaches across the table again, resting her hand on top of his over the piece from the TARDIS.

"It'll be worth the wait."


End file.
